The past 4 plus months have felt like a never-ending storm. At times, I feel like I have been run through a sifter and it just hurts to breathe. But then at the same time I can tell you that I can breathe and have come this far only by the grace of God. And I now know what it's like to be so well cared- for by my King when it's obvious that every moment I survive what it means to be held. I wouldn't know that without this storm. I will honestly say that I haven't made it hard for satan to attack me. I have gaps in my battle gear that God is repairing through healing and teaching. Nonetheless, I feel led to share what i have learned from my own storm.
1. Initially you may feel angry, hurt, abandoned or unworthy because of this but God doesn't intend for people to fix you or meet all of your needs in such a way that you forget your need for Him. The storm is where you choose your focus, God or people. When things get really hard, and you feel unlovable, people will fall into two groups: ones who try but are limited in their ability to help you and those who are uninterested in your struggle for various reasons. Let these moments of loneliness drive you to seeking Him more. And don't stop when you feel like you're in the clear because your next battle is just around the corner. If you aren't preparing for it, you'll be tossed to and fro as you scramble for truth in the dark. It's no different than not knowing where your candles and oil lamps are stashed when the electricity goes out.
2. God will be there, whether you feel Him or not. He will be working good from what seems so awful by changing you. He cares about your pain, after all He loves you immensely because you are His creation. I've struggled with this one a lot and realize how i have hindered my own self and helped the enemy when i listened to my feelings or the lies in my head. Don't make that mistake. If you have, it's never too late to simply choose to believe. I promise you that he honors that. Faith is both a gift and a choice. You can choose to believe your feelings or only what you can see or you can choose to believe in His promises even though you may not be able to see them yet. You are not alone, physically or emotionally.
3. Your suffering offers a choice in the form of a fork in the road. Choose the one that makes you more pure at heart, like Jesus. To the left you can walk through what appears to be a rose garden --where you learn to look out for number one, avoiding a thorn at every turn since every man is for himself. To the right, you can choose to go rock climbing-- where you have obvious highs and lows. This is where you are made more like Jesus as you develop strength, endurance and an understanding of teamwork. This is where suffering is not in vain because it accomplishes good. Bitterness or forgiveness, love or hate, selfishness or selflessness? Love always offers a choice.
4. There can be a raging storm on the outside, with peace on the inside if you surrender the storm to Jesus. Being in God's word, in prayer and in a posture of trust makes all the difference. Satan comes at me with so many lies still, and when i do not don't know truth, i am nothing but a bobble on a fishing line with the devil holding the pole. I have been in this position so many times that I can't do it anymore. I know Christians who advocate that is it unnecessary to read or study God's word regularly but i can tell you that they are those who have not seen it's healing power and are the angriest, most bitter people i know. What you expose yourself to the most will rule your heart and mind. There is nothing more comforting than God and His word.
I never knew that He really is enough until He was all I had. I promise you, but even better- He promises that His love and comfort doesn't disappoint. If you are in a storm, I encourage you to WAIT on him to deliver you and BELIEVE that He is working behind the scenes to do just that in His time. Faith makes waiting precious when nothing else can.
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