We can't change people. We say that all the time. But many of us don't live like it. I really struggle with it. I am a codependent, recovering of course, but these patterns are hard to break. We want to fix everything because we think its our job. We think if we hang on long enough, say or do the right things, we can get through to them.
But what if it's us that need changing? What if God just wants to teach us to let go and give to Him what only He can change? What if it's up to Him to judge a heart and even when one hurts us and we can't make them care, we give it to Him to settle and heal? What if that person who hurt us needs us to get out of the way so they can hear Him and not us- because He knows how to get into a heart and He knows how to bring perspective to both divided people so that they understand one another. He knows how to bring compassion, repentance and forgiveness. But then, what if that takes years, or doesn't happen in this lifetime? Can we learn to trust God with it like we tell others to do?
As a fixer, I have learned that I've been playing the wrong role all these years and it's time to let go. I've brought so much stress and anxiety into my life by usurping my responsibilities. Letting go is a MUCH harder role to play and it requires more trust. It challenges every single piece of my theology. It uses every muscle I have.
If I am honest, I don't struggle with what to say, so I have to work on keeping my mouth shut and staying in my own lane. But I am worn down and I needed to get here to accept this new role. And you know what, it's a much more peaceful one. I think I'm going to get better at it with time and practice and it can only help my relationships. It's a win-win, right? How about you? Are you worn down yet?
