One Thought At A Time

I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.

Psalm 119:45

I heard someone recently say to a child, "Don't wear that to school or people will pick on you!" I suddenly saw the bondage behind comments like that. It made me sad that so many of us, with the best intentions, teach our children to model their lives after what's publicly acceptable and expected. I've done it, I'll admit. We do it for good reasons in our own minds. We do it to help them "fit in" and be seen in a good way by others. We think we're protecting them, when in fact, we are putting them in bondage to living their lives like other people expect them to. Jesus doesn't call us to any such thing, but to the very opposite. 

That mindset, as common as it is, is dangerous. I'm convinced it's what keeps many Christians and non-believers alike from living their lives to the fullest. What if the Holy Spirit calls them to do things that don't fit that mold. Will they listen or will they be too paralyzed by the fear of what others think and say? A huge portion of the Christian and non-Christian population are hung up on what other people think. They find themselves in debt trying to gain the approval of their friends and neighbors. They  base their life choices on the opinions of society. 

If this is you, please believe that I'm not saying any of this out of judgement and condemnation, but to call attention to a destructive mindset. I have been guilty of these things too. 

My journey with Jesus has taught me that, more often than not, He will call us to do things that society will think bizarre and eccentric. Other people have often tried to stop me from doing things I felt led to do, thinking I was embarrassing myself. And maybe to them I was. But it is far more important to obey God than be acceptable and blend in with people. His direction is more rewarding than the approval of men. He knows what's best for us, and sometimes that includes doing things that go against the norm. 

Our minds have been programmed to think that we must live our lives from a socially-written template. It keeps so many people in fear of living out their convictions, using their God-given gifts, loving people in radical ways or going where God wants them to go. Yes, even well intentioned people can cause such damage by spreading this mindset because they, too, are caught up in it. 

Good intentions never produces perfection. Whatever bondage is in someone's heart will drive their lifestyle and the way they teach their kids. It will be be in every piece of advice they offer and, more importantly, in their marriages. This is why, beloved, it's so important that we each walk the path of freedom with Jesus. We need His lessons and freedom so that we can teach our kids His freedom, have better marriages and other relationships. It's a tough calling- to stop ignoring and justifying our own damaging mindsets and to adopt new, better ones. 

So often we don't see those mindsets until Jesus or someone else sheds light on it. At that point, in order to truly follow Jesus, we've got to pray, seek help and a new mindset that matches His. We have to continually ask Jesus if our mindsets match His. We have to avoid defensiveness since it's a barrier to growth. We have to practice listening and staying humble. We have to try, over and over, to see ourselves realistically. We, humans, go through a lot of change in life and need constant examination. And we need honest people around us. Even more so, we need to be in constant communion with Jesus. And then, we need to be humble, brave, persistent and gracious to ourselves and others as it takes time to overcome those bondages. 

Mankind's Greatest Struggle

Scripture speaks a lot about the importance of humility and pride. Have you ever wondered why? I'll be honest- I didn't really get it for much of my walk with Jesus. But through some pain and a lot of trials I am learning. Based on all those things I've experienced I believe the call to humility is for our growth as well as our relationships. Relationships are what the Bible, and our God is all about. He didn't just create one or two humans and stop there; He created countless humans throughout the years. And He tells us repeatedly what the key is to loving one another in that one word- humility. 

Pride keeps us defensive; it is that voice that says, "We're enemies" or "No one has been through what I have!" It provides the excuses for the wrongs we do to one another. It poofs us up like pillows when that voice of God convicts us in any way. Defensiveness keeps us from hearing, truly hearing what other people have to say to us and therefore is a barrier to relational healing. When we can't listen, we can't be open-hearted to our fellow man. A closed heart is most destructive to our relationships, also quenching own growth. 

Humility, on the other hand, keeps our hearts open. We have no reason to defend ourselves when we accept our own flawed state and the possibilities for us to make a mess of anything. We have no reason to get angry with those who confront us when we realize that it is a good thing that not everyone thinks like us. When we look for other perspectives and views outside what's in our own heads or agrees with us, we blossom. God uses community to shape us, so we need to be willing to speak up and listen too. But people need to feel safe to be honest with us, and even more safe to take feedback from us. They need to know we mean it in love and that we're on equal ground. 

In my experience, relationships with people who refuse to see themselves as others see them are the most miserable. They live with no concern for how they impact others because they are blinded to the pain they cause. Maybe some of them see it but feel stuck because of pride. But we all need to feel we have a voice - that our feelings and our perceptions matter. And to God they do. If we truly strive to be like Him, we will strive to make others feel safe to share their insight with us. 

The healthiest relationships are those where both parties listen to one another and are open to changing where it is necessary. It's not about blaming or pointing fingers but about mattering to one another. If this country is to change and this world is impacted by us in good ways, then we as individuals have to start by taking responsibility for our own mindsets and actions. The more we listen to God's convictions, the more we're willing to hear from other humans too. 

Life is not a competition. Jesus meant it to be a partnership with him and with other people. But the first step is acceptance our own state and dropping our walls of pride. If we truly believe there is no condemnation in Christ, then our walls of defense make no sense in the kingdom of God.