The Freedom of Forgiveness

Recently, I was counseling my teenage daughter about something she was dealing with. I watched how she carried herself with shame over a mistake she had made, so much so that she had withdrawn from people in general. With every interaction she did have, her anger spewed. When I looked closely, she seemed to be struggling to forgive herself and that unforgiveness was heavy on her. I felt led to speak into that and although I didn't know what to say, God did. 

The words that came out of my mouth were something like this, “It’s important that you forgive yourself; give yourself some grace. Forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiving others. If you do not, you will repeat the behavior you feel so much shame for. Accept that you are human and learn from this how to respond the next time you’re in that situation, but don’t stay tied to this. You’re going to make more mistakes, but those you don’t forgive yourself or others for somehow get repeated."

That was totally not of my own “wisdom”, but of God’s. It’s true. What we don’t forgive holds us hostage. It pins us to the very behavior or sin that caused pain in the first place. Whether it be something we did or someone else’s actions, forgiveness is powerful. It can set free to move forward into change or it can tie us to certain sins for generations. Forgiveness isn’t just about own our purity of heart, but also our freedom from sin and bondage.

People don't change for the better under the weight of disapproval. The freedom offered through grace and forgiveness sets us free when we accept it for ourselves and offer it to others. We can then start to truly live without the fear of inevitable mistakes. We humans are made to need forgiveness, and plenty of it. The best way to learn that though is to learn to seek to see ourselves realistically. 

Forgiveness is an act of humility and mercy. It is best done when we truly see ourselves for the vulnerability within. But when we see ourselves as stronger, more flawless than we are, we aren’t prone to forgive anyone. Our vision is blurred and we’ve bought the lies that come out of that and judgment is the result. I honestly don’t think we can have a proper view of ourselves without the Holy Spirit. Without Him, it always comes out from one extreme to the other - either self hate or self worship. 

For years, I held grudges I swore I had forgiven. My lack of forgiveness would come out in subtle ways, through anger or ill feelings. Other times, I would get so caught up in my own shame that I withdrew from everyone around. As much as I held grudges against others, the ones I held against myself were greater. I had held myself to such standards that no human could meet, and then I imposed the same ones onto others. I just didn’t see it. 

Just like me, many of you may be convinced you have no bitterness within. The real proof is how you speak and think about the other party involved, or yourself. Another sign of unforgiveness, I believe, is the fear of making mistakes to the extent that we miss out on life. We need to ask ourselves whether we are truly living, taking risks, getting back up when we fall down. Are we as gracious with ourselves and with others as Jesus is with us? Do we accept that Jesus' forgiveness is enough or do we somehow think he died to make us afraid to live?

It is important to remember that accepting forgiveness, as well as extending it, has the power to set us free from a life of paralyzing fear that causes us to miss out on life. We can take on life more boldly when we aren’t afraid of skinning our knees or bruising our elbows. We’re all human; we’re going to make mistakes. But He never meant for us to take a seat on the bench for fear of falling down. He meant for us to love freely and forgive freely, taking risks that will sometimes leave us bruised. This world is broken; we’re going to get hurt. But our time here is a gift and a mission and we need forgiveness to get through it. 

Beyond the Veil

Jesus shouted again with a loud voice and gave up His spirit. Suddenly, the curtain of the sanctuary was split in two from top to bottom; the earth quaked and the rocks were split. Matthew 27:50-51

The curtain separating the inner temple, the place where the Spirit of God dwelled and only the high priest was allowed was ripped in half when Jesus breathed His final breath. I can imagine the panic at the temple as the Earth shook and that veil was mysteriously torn, allowing access to anyone who wanted to stand before God. Years prior to that, God gave the Israelites strict instructions about the layout of the temple, the process of sacrifice  and who could enter the holy place of His dwelling. No man, woman or child other than the high priest could go beyond the veil. But now that Jesus paid the price of every sacrifice ever necessary and served the role as the high priest, anyone can stand before God without another human intercessor. 

Step forward to modern times. Even though we all have access to God directly through Jesus, so many of us are living as though we don't. Shame, fear, and other bondage keeps us from walking through that torn veil to experience God personally. And the enemy loves that. He is keeping people full of lies that make them ashamed, believing that they aren't worthy to stand before Him. None of us are, but that's not the point. Yours and my enemy is behind every single thought that God doesn't want you or that you are useless to Him. Satan wants you to think God doesn't love you or won't forgive your sins to keep you from entering The Safe Place, where the Master Warrior himself will cover you from Satan's schemes. 

Jesus has paid the price, and there is nothing you can do that He will not forgive. But part of the process of coming to God, standing before His holy presence, is to accept what He gives you. If He says He will forgive, He will and you need only to choose to believe Him over your feelings of shame and sorrow. You'll probably need to keep choosing to believe Him every time the enemy's accusations come at you. Remember that Jesus's atonement is more powerful than your sins. Draw near to Him and ask for faith to believe when you need it. 

You no longer need carry any shame as one who follows Jesus. And we no longer need to shame one another. As believers, we've been set free from anything that keeps us from following Him 100%. The best testimony of Jesus is the freedom we live in, not the rules we make for ourselves and others. If God forgives and shows much grace, we must also. 

And if you aren't yet His follower, it is never too late to start.  

Embracing Imperfection

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

I sat at the altar recently, praying and weeping. I said, "Lord I feel like a refugee in this world- like there is no safe place to go. Thank you for being that safe place for me when nothing, no one here is." I sensed some shame for my feelings and struggle. And I started to question myself for not being able to handle this better...for being such a crybaby. And do you know what He said? He whispered, " Its okay. You can come to me and cry all you want, whenever you want. I am here."

That moment was huge for me. It is just one of many things He has said to me that no one else ever has. They were words that touched a broken place and brought healing. I still smile when I think that The holiest of holies would listen to me bear my hear over and over as I ugly cry uncontrollably.  I don't know about you but I have so many moments when I feel like I just don't belong here. Even though I am loved and liked and part of a community, there are these overwhelming times where I just want to run to God and sit at His feet, where these emotions turn to peace.

 

I highly doubt I would truly love and appreciate Him if life were easy and I never needed refuge. All of what I have learned so far came from deep, pain and brokenness. I learned who He is and to trust Him through those times. He has taught me through my worst moments that He never changes.  But when life is good, I tend to veer away. I get cozy and think I have it all under control- maybe not conscientiously, but its in there. 

We don't have to be perfect, or even close to it to experience God. In fact, it seems that the more we strive for perfection, the more we put up that facade, the less we think about Him, much less connect. Personally, I find God more in my weaknesses; I experience who He is most when I embrace my brokenness. He already knows us better than we do ourselves and He loves us despite of, and even because of it. We were meant to need Him but perfection would eliminate that. Wouldn't it be such a shame to never know His love in such a precious and fierce way?

A Bold Stance, A Gentle Life

Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go. Oh that you had paid attention to my commandments! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea...Isaiah 48:17-18

Faith is a gift, given to us - not forced on us. One can say they believe all day long, but without a faithful heart it means nothing. Faith isn't a one and done event, where we can lay low the rest of the time. It is a daily commitment to believe not only in God, but God Himself. It's hard, it is impossible for us to do so without Him because we need Him to reveal Himself to us for our faith to grow. And we must, in turn, reveal our own hearts to Him in order to have a real relationship. Every step of the way, though, it is all a choice. 

True love never forces one's own way.  

We were never meant to use our faith as a means to force or manipulate others into believing. But for generations many have bought the lie that we are human doers who must forcibly get people to say they believe. There are signs of it all throughout our society. People are manipulated into confessing Jesus before we will accept them, into our churches, homes and social gatherings. They are denied love until they confess something they do not believe in. That's not the way of God. 

Father, forgive us. 

So much of Christian culture has interpreted the message of Jesus as a call to bully its way through societies, using fear and bullying tactics to get others to agree to the same morality and faith and, y'all, it has to stop. We're not the Israelites - we haven't been told to eliminate non believers from our nations, but to witness to them with love, using our very lives to tell about Jesus. 

It's not about compliance with God, but faith.  

Yes, obedience is important. It is a product of true faith. Compliance, however, is done out of duty, not desire. He wants our hearts. That means His ways must become more important in our hearts than our own. 

God looks at the heart. 

He cares more about what's on the inside of us than outside. And He always hears unspoken unbelief louder than the words we use to cover it up. The heart is never changed by force, but by the love of Jesus in the smallest and grandest of ways. 

 

We have to start with ourselves before God. 

If we're going to make any nation a Christian nation, it has to start with each of us individually - deep down inside. It has to start between us and God, where we let Him clean our hearts and give us proper insight into our own hearts. We spend so much time finger-pointing that we miss our very own hearts. It is there, examining our own hearts that we have the best, most effective influence on everyone else. It is there, in that place, where we exercise our own choice well and avoid the idea that we have to steal everyone else's to set things right. 

 

We can stand up for what is right without being self-righteous. 

We are called to get our own hearts right before God, not everyone else's.  A relationship with Him has taught me that I don't have to force a thing; the best works happen when I just do what I am told to do - follow Jesus and let Him use and grow me. 

 

You see, Christianity's best hope for growth is in good boundaries, where we know where we end and another begins, what we're called to fix and what we're not. We are not God. But one thing is for certain, if He doesn't force Himself on us, how dare we think we can do it to others.

Ointment for Disappointment

Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. According to His great mercy, He has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead  and into an inheritance that is imperishable, uncorrupted, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. You are being protected by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. You rejoice in this,^[though now for a short time you have had to struggle in various trials. 1 Peter 1:3-6

My heart stings as I write these words. It is the uncomfortable sting of betrayal and lies and the pain of disappointment. If I’m brutally honest, and I am, my observations of  recent events remind me that trusting other people will only bring me more pain and make me look a fool. And I don’t like looking like a fool, but even more so I don’t like the pain. I am desperate for good relationships and I whole-heartedly wanted to move past my trust issues. I really do keep trying. But I feel angry that no matter how much I do that, I am betrayed. I am confused as to why Jesus would call me into such a place. It feels at times like He is betraying me by laying such a command on me that brings me repeated pain. I took these raw feelings to Him this morning and He reminded me of some beautiful truths about life and disappointment that motivate me to press on.

There have been consistent reasons for me to go live in a cave in an isolated area where no other human can be found. Those reasons began early in life for me by people who I should have been able to trust. Just when I think I am over it, something else happens to make me distrust someone else. It has become a theme of life for me in some ways. I have a love/hate relationship with trust. I want it, but I do not want the pain that comes with it. Sound familiar? Can you relate?

Something in me rises up for war, for vengeance when I am hurt and disappointed. I do not like that part of me. But sometimes it just feels so good to lash back. Then the words of a dear friend replay in my head, “Don’t trade your blessing for a bowl of soup.” Ouch! This is the iron sharpening I needed. It is amazing how far and how long a sharp sword can go. I would be doing what Esau did with Jacob; I would be giving up something huge for something lesser that satisfies me in the moment. When I think about it that way, the desire for vengeance dwindles. I want to honor the Lord – I really do. I also have these human tendencies that I constantly battle against just to be obedient. Keeping my eyes on Jesus when the world gets foggy is easier said than done. And I can’t break from guarding my heart for even a moment heart if I do not want to end up in the pit of regret. I must be persistent and avoid discouragement like the plague if I am going to finish this race.

My pain had led me closer in prayer and in worship where I find comfort and healing. I know Jesus is near. I know he has a compassionate heart and that He wants me to share my struggles. But in this place, He also shares His heart with me here and renews my own thinking. He reminds me that He faced betrayal, and that even though He knew He would be betrayed, He pressed onward in His calling anyway. It hurt Him, yet I have somehow thought it couldn’t have hurt Him since He is God. I have, on many occasions,  compared my pain to His – thinking God couldn’t and wouldn’t feel such emotional pain. But He did. His heart ached over so many things; It still does. His heart even aches with and for me, and yours. Yet He does not distance Himself for protection. He stays. He fulfills His promises – no matter what they cost Him. He cares no matter how much it hurts.

As I start to feel silly for voicing this struggle, He encourages me to keep being honest about my pain. This is directly opposite of what I have learned and observed in our Christian community. He emphasizes to me that He doesn’t expect us to live in pretend mode. People need to know we suffer. They need to know we suffer like they do because our enemy is working very hard at isolating us with the very mindset that we are alone. Jesus wants us to be vulnerable and share that suffering as a means of relating to others, a picture of helping someone out of a pit. Sure, we may look weak at times, but so did He. Sure, we may get hurt and insulted for it – but so did He. He made us to be loved and to love. We cannot do that without being real and honest.

Even in our pain there is hope for those of us who believe. We can suffer and still have hope. This is part of our calling so that we use our influences to help, and not harm, our brothers and sisters. He gave me a new picture for pain this morning as He whispered, “Just because this hurts doesn’t mean you are falling apart. Sometimes pain is a sign of healing like the pain felt after a life-saving surgical procedure.” Now that's a game-changer. We could very well be healing when our heart is on fire. How? Because the redemptive power of Jesus is just that powerful. He can bring beauty to whatever has been burnt.

Identity 101

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:14-15

Our  behavior isn’t who we are, but that’s not the way we tend to tell it. More often than not, we identify people with their behavior and all that does is condemn them to a cycle of the same behavior – over and over. This world would have us believe that we earn our identity, but that’s not what scripture says. Our behavior is simply an acting out of who we think we are, which rarely ever matches up to who we really are. Too few of us know who we really are; those who don’t are constantly striving and battling to become more but unsure how. They are always under pressure to be more and do more. 

 

Identity comes before behavior. In the book The Good and Beautiful Community by James Bryan Smith, he says, “We tell people what they must do find out who they are. Paul (in Colossians) does the opposite: he tells them who they are and how they should live. The more we grow into the story, the more the story grows into us…The main point is that the story and the identity it creates must take the lead in changing our behavior and not the reverse, which is so common. In this world we determine identity on the basis of behavior, which leads to frustration and legalism.” 

 

This statement led me to think about the way Jesus handles me, and how He handled me before change began. He began by telling me who He is and as I began to believe that, He told me who I am. And each time I mess up, make a bad decision or behave wrongly He points me back on track by reminding me who I am in Him. He doesn’t shame me for messing up but as He brings my sin to the forefront, reminds me that I am not that sin and redirects me to the path of who I was created to be. 

I don’t have to strive or beat myself up. I don’t have to pull along  an overloaded cart. And there is no fear of growth when God is the teacher because there is endless grace for my endless mess-ups, and it is that grace that keeps bringing me back on track.  I simply have to follow and listen. 

My strength is in Him. That strength is best put to use when I believe who He is and who He says I am above anything else coming from anyone else. My identity in Him must be how I see myself if I am going to have the courage and strength to ward off the enemies schemes of shutting me up and closing me down.

 

A warrior who doesn’t know who he/she or is isn't prepared for warriorship. A warrior who doesn't see their own strengths and weaknesses won't last long and is setup for failure. With every role, comes a certain foundation of knowledge necessary to complete the duties assigned. And so we have to see ourselves realistically- through God's eyes if we'e going through be prepared for battle. 

The enemy already knows God makes us strong and powerful warriors even when we don't see it. He knows God has powerful callings for us, which was why he rebelled to start with. And the way he often attacks is by causing us to question who we really are. He causes us to have self-hate so we can be too bottled up to love ourselves, much less anyone else. Or he may whisper lies to us to cause us to believe we are enough and without any need for God and that we have more power than we really do. He wants us to seek independence from God because that is where we're vulnerable. 

He isn’t only attacking who we are, but who we are becoming because out of that comes what we'll do. He wins when we quit, do nothing and believe lies. Therefore, if we are going to be proper warriors, we must know and believe the truth. For faith is the activation of our callings and our callings- every single of of them- are a necessary part of this war. 

Words of a Warrior

Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity to restore your fortunes, but have seen for you oracles that are false and misleading. 

Lamentations 2:14

The truth is a powerful thing, that has the ability to prick hearts and open eyes, leading to repentance. Deception, however, presents as truth to eyes that cannot tell the difference. We need constant exposure to the truth in order to train our hearts and minds to discern the difference. That difference will, at some point in our lives, either save us or bring us to shame. 

We all make mistakes and do regretful things. But few people have someone in their lives who will tell them so. And even fewer will take heed to the words spoken to them to bring them back to God. Why? Because we have a tendency to seek independence to such extremes that we move away from the protection of God. 

Our natural hearts don't like being told we're wrong. The pride that seeps in and disguises itself as defensiveness is the very thing that keeps us from hearing truth and growing. That's why scripture speaks so much about humility. Humility battles the pride that keeps us from hearing those things we don't like or want to hear.  It is the difference between life and death. 

Even so, many people lack the courage to speak the truth to someone in need. Let's just say, we have all been that person at least once.  We want people to like us, to trust us and love us. Sometimes we want it more than we want what is best for them- but that isn't agape love. Agape love always does what is best for the other person even if they don't agree. Withholding truth is never pure love. Saying it with hate and despise isn't either. 

To use our mouths for God means we must be made courageous and strong warriors by God Himself. We must be willing to say things no one wants to hear as an act of obedience that reveals agape love. None of us really know what is best like God does. Therefore, we have to be in a position to hear first, then speak. 

We all need people who will tell us the truth- not "their truth", but Gods. That means they must be in a position of hearing and seeking Him themselves. On the same hand, we need to be willing to hear the words that may very well be the mercy of God, bringing us back to focus on Him. We have to look beyond the stinging we feel in our heart in order get back on the right path. We have to be willing to see ourselves through the eyes of God, with the same love and mercy but also with the same honesty. Community helps us do just that. 

Truth is a beautiful and freeing thing that breaks the chains of lies and blindness. It brings clarity, which leads to repentance. Repentance always leads to God's forgiveness and life abundant. May we all be speakers and receivers of  the Truth. 

Surrendering To Freedom

For Israel and Judah have not been forsaken by their God,the Lord of hosts, but the land of the Chaldeans is full of guilt against the Holy One of Israel. Jeremiah 51:5

Go with me for a minute as we imagine ourselves in the verse above. Think about those who obey God as being Israel and Judah and those who insist in their own way as being Babylon, the land of the Chaldeans. Now, we're all prone to sin and wander but what truly distinguishes the two is choice. One chose to obey, and when he or she fails gets right back up and on Christ's heels. The other chose to live his life as his own. One chose to trust that what God wants is best and the other chose to trust in himself and his own desires and choices. Now, which one are you?

Every way but God's way contains a series of invisible traps, invisible at least to the human eye. There are constant opportunities to get stuck in bad habits and unhealthy mindsets. The lies just keep taking over like weeds. Of course when you can't see the traps, you can't distinguish the truth from a lie either. The longer we go in this direction, the more lies we take in, as they disguise themselves as wisdom and truth. It is called bondage. 

Bondage are those lies we refuse to release. The more we hold on to whatever thought system we have been taught, the less we let in the truth. Our choices can place us in bondage or in freedom.

I'm not talking about rules. Most rules have traps too. I'm not talking about striving and trying to "be good enough". It is crucial that when we give our heart to Christ, we surrender our minds too. After all, we're all serving someone. 

Satan wants us to believe lies so we won't believe God's truths. He wants to keep us from His love and from fulfilling a purpose in Him. Satan wants us useless to the kingdom of God. But God will fight for us. He won't make us do anything. Unlike Satan, He offers a choice. But with every choice comes some impact. 

God wants us free so we can be fertile soil, constantly learning from Him. We can't do that if there is any single lie we cling to. We may not even know we're clinging to something until God sweeps the dust off it, and then speaks into us something different. Those are defining moments for our freedom. Do we let go of what was for what is and do we resist any other knowledge? 

Depending on our level of stubbornness and teachability, we may need to be completely broken, become what feels like an utter destruction, in order to get free. Sometimes, often, in many cases, some still prefer broken to the truth. But He will war for us even when it feels like He is warring against us. He will also offer us a choice. And it is amazing that choice is our biggest part- because He does the hardest work. We simply need to repent and follow. 

Making Warriors

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

One of my gifted friends shared a perspective recently. She said that when we are transparent for the sake of others, when we pour understanding and courage out, we are laying down our lives for them. I know encouragement is powerful, but I never thought of it as self sacrificial as laying down one's life. But it makes sense- true encouragement is life-giving. It pours out from the overflow of life in one's own heart. 

 

Never underestimate the power of love through a kind or encouraging word. It is so easy to lose courage in this world of constant negativity. It is so easy to have courage one minute and lose it the next. It doesn't matter how strong someone is, how good they seem to have it or how many friends they have-- everyone needs encouragement sometimes. We all need to be reminded of the beauty within us and the good things others see in us because we're constantly hearing otherwise from the world and from our common enemy. 

 

Encouragement isn't flattery It isn't "sucking up". It is calling forward the good you see in someone and reminding them who they are to Jesus. It is giving courage to someone who doesn't have it. And it takes a secure person to offer courage to others. Insecure people are lacking so much courage that they aren't full enough to pour into others. But that can all be changed with some simple, honest, loving words. 

Encouragement is something simple, but powerful; it takes paying attention to what is going on with others. We can’t pour into others If we are disconnected. We can’t be open to what others need from us if we are disengaged or inwardly focused all the time. We have to get out there in the world and surround ourselves with people from all walks in order to have an impact. God wants us to make the most of this time but it isn’t about making ourselves comfortable and happy, but about pouring out into the world like Jesus did. Jesus didn't isolate himself from the people who needed Him. 

 

I never thought it was possible to give so much just by using my words and my mouth. I love seeing people light up when I speak a kind word. I love seeing their burdens fall off and their walk become lighter after reminding them who they are in Christ. I love how God uses each of us to make warriors out of one another. None of us are purposeless- we need each other to speak up and remind us who we are when we forget. We're all facing the same enemy, who wants to see us quit. 

 

What do the people around you need to hear today? Listen, observe, ask God. Notice the little things. Interact with others and listen to them talk for clues on what they may need to hear- maybe they son't even know themselves. But the Lord will show us if we ask. 

 

Every (Wo)Man's Pit

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:3-5

I have wrestled with God a lot lately, and one recent morning I wrestled my longest bout without a break. There was nothing to distract me from what is going on inside me and so, as it began to come out I began to struggle. And God invited me to talk it through with Him because He understands.

It's easy to love people when you don't need anything from them. But since we're all human, we are all going to need something from the people around us at some point. We're made for community. When we begin to need things from others and yet we don't get it, we can easily veer in the direction of quitting - stopping ourselves from showing them anymore love. But true love doesn't quit and that is where following Jesus gets tricky. 

It's hard to stay put when we aren't getting the pouring into that we desire. It's hard accepting that people may never give us what we have given them. The first thought we think is, "Okay, I will stop doing for them, giving to them, loving them."

But true love, Jesus' kind of love doesn't stop when we stop getting. True love doesn't reflect the actions of those being loved - it leads. It persists in the face of pain and loneliness. It moves on even when nothing but hate or apathy stares it in the face. It moves on when feelings aren't there and devotes to those who so often never reciprocate. True love isn't pretty and it isn't easy; it is flat out blood, sweat and tears. 

God reminded me of Jeremiah and Jonah and how they felt about those around them. They were so discouraged by the selfishness of those around them and I wouldn't be surprised if Jeremiah ever wanted to flee like Jonah did. Jonah eventually did as he was told. But then I realize if Jeremiah had fled Israel, God wouldn't have used his mouth to convict the people there. Yes, many of them just grew angry at him but some did have their eyes opened and accepted the conviction as a means to change.

Jesus also suffered heartbreak and pain. He didn't turn around and shoot the middle finger at the Pharisees or snub them. They frustrated him to no end with their legalism and religion but He kept doing what He was called to and answered their questions boldly, but honestly. He had a heart for the tax collectors and prostitutes even though He knew their self destructive tendencies. He loved Judas even though He knew he would betray Him. He loves each of us, knowing our inclination to get distracted, to commit idolatry and to quit. Thus I I am reminded of my own short-comings before God when I think about the things people do to disappoint me. 

Focusing on the shortcoming of humanity is one sure way to become depressed. This is where He reminds me to RE fix my eyes on Him. For if godly love gives up, what is love but unstable and untrustworthy.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Where Humility is Born

29 We have heard of the pride of Moab—
    he is very proud—
of his loftiness, his pride, and his arrogance,
    and the haughtiness of his heart.
30 I know his insolence, declares the Lord;
    his boasts are false,
    his deeds are false.

Jeremiah 48:29-30 ESV

Jeremiah prophesied to Moab about the pride that has consumed them. He was heartbroken and compassionate, but he drew a beautiful word picture about why this had to be stopped, why God was about to destroy them in order to stop this beast called pride. 

Pride makes us think we're independent from God, that all the blessings he has provided were merely created or earned by us. It leads us down a dangerous road- where if God doesn't destroy it, it will consume with us a whole lineage. 

Whenever we claim Gods works as our own, we've overstepped a spiritual boundary that, if not stopped, threatens humanity as a whole. Pride is a contagious beast; it causes us to think like Satan- that we are gods and we don't need our one, true protector to protect us from our spiritual enemy. You see, pride is a subtle lie straight from Satan himself that is meant to separate us from God so he can consume our lives.  Satan knows God is fiercely protective of us, so he works to convince us that we don't need God in order to bring division and ultimately spiritual destruction. 

Make no doubt about it, Satan doesn't want to see us flourish; he is jealous of us and how dearly God loves us - so much that he wants to destroy us. We have to be aware of every thought, every mindset, every lie in order to survive. It's quite overwhelming for us to do alone. 

But God! God disciplines us, teaches us, changes us using everything Satan throws at us. He uses those schemes meant to harm us to strengthen us into warriors who can be both offensive and defensive against Satan. We need intimacy with God to battle Satan's lies and schemes. God's presence alone brings light and overcomes the darkness. 

In this chapter of Jeremiah, God talks about destruction that is coming to the Moabites, and how He will strip away all those lies, exposing every part to the light so that the darkness cannot hide.  Whatever is to be healed must be revealed. We must be "broken" in order to be put back together the right way. We must have all our faulty thinking and heart troubles broken so that we can be restored. We must be willing to give up everything in order to see what we were made for. 

The process is painful, but it a gift of mercy from God. He is doing it to make us better! He wants to set us free and He cares more about our long term growth than our short term comfort. He has a great plan, although through human eyes, it doesn't always look that way.  His Word promises so and his spirit reassures us when we are willing to listen. 

We must ask ourselves- Where do we put our hope? What/who do we trust in? What do we boast of? If those things aren't centered on God, if the answer isn't God, we have some pride in us. We should then ask ourselves whether we deal with others in an understanding manner or in an abrasive and hardened manner. Do we show mercy and love graciously or do we make people feel they have to earn it? Do we readily apologize even we may not be fully at fault? Dp we insist on being right? These are all signs of how humble we really are. 

We can claim to be humble but our relationships and our attitudes tell the truth. It may even disguise as good, healthy things and even societally acceptable- but pride is pride. And scripture tells us over and over that every little root of pride must be ripped out. Having roots ripped out of us is going to hurt for a while, but it must be done. It's like cancer- not even the smallest trace is safe. 

"But afterward I will restore the fortunes..." He says over and over. This isn't necessary financial or monetary treasures like we tend to think. Our greatest fortunes are in our hearts, when they are pure and whole and free. Why? Because God looks at and cares about the heart. 

To Walk On Water

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. John 15:16

Some of us were never taught to conquer our fears. But God loves to call us into the uncomfortable and break mans rules. He wants us to know and face our fears so we can be better warriors, less susceptible to the enemies schemes. 

As long as we have fear in us, we're vulnerable. As long as we're comfortable we are missing our true purpose in this life and we're missing out on seeing what what God can do in our lives firsthand.  As long as we stay in the boat we are blinded to the stuff in us that God wants to heal and change because it's what is outside the boat that works as sandpaper to surface what is already there. 

He will apprehend us- as much as we want Him to. Our hearts need to be apprehended, taken captive, by Him in order to break free from the fears and faulty thinking in our heads. And in order for that renewing of the mind to take place, we need to surrender our fears and get out of the boat. We need to be willing to be changed, strengthened and set securely on His foundation so that we can be true warriors. We need for Him to show us what the "warrior" should be like. 

I write things like this because it's what I need and it's what I feel led to share. This particular topic was one the Lord spoke specifically to me about. He gave me the words above and He molded that morning around His message for me. He sent my son to tell me about his first vision, which had everything to do with this topic. But then, He reminded me that other people need this message too. It is appropriate for all of us.  

We, especially in America, lean towards the comfortable; comfort and efficiency are molded into our culture even so much that it bleeds into our faith. But we've got to be careful with this because that comfort, meshed with following Jesus won't work. Our culture will cause us to compromise our calling, our walk with Him for the stuff that makes us comfortable. 

I struggle with this myself, so please don't think I am finger-pointing. I am heavily convicted lately of the things I should do, but don't because it is hard, I am not good at it or I'm afraid. 

I dare to say that following Jesus isn't comfortable, but very uncomfortable most of the time. We are, and will be, called to do some hard things, some awkward and scary things. Those are the things that stretch and grow us into what we were created to be. They help us see what we're capable of when we put our trust in Jesus. It would be such a shame for us to spend our time here never knowing what our purpose and calling is, sacrificing true contentment and peace for a mere facade of it. 

The Heart of a Warrior

Because your heart was tender, and you have humbled yourself before the Lord, when you heard what I spoke against this place....I have also heard you, says the Lord. 2 Kings 22:19

I have felt extremely weary and have been tempted to harden my heart over the past week or two. Let's face it, hardening our hearts is easy to do, in fact, it is easier than staying tender. But the Lord reminded me of something  He has said to me on countless occasions- His warriors have tender hearts. They refuse to allow theirs to become hard because they live a life that goes against the flow. 

Spiritually speaking, a tender heart is the strongest heart. It is a threat to the darkness because it loves in the face of adversity. It stays vulnerable no matter what it is dealt and handles matters of life like a warrior of love. A tender heart is not a pushover or an enabler, but does what is best for the other person even if they ask for something else. A wise tender heart can set and adhere to healthy boundaries where abuse and unproductive behavior cannot stay. The one who has a tender heart can hear God best and his decisions will reflect that. He or she can love and care for others with true freedom from the "what if's." He or she can have healthy relationships where honest and loving feedback is given and received.  

A hard heart is a fearful heart that has become so paralyzed by life that he/she has stopped accepting love from God and others and is full of anger, apathy and fear. A hard heart is a defeated one, full of lies and too hard to let the truth in. It an effort to keep out certain things or people, it keeps out the good as well as the bad. And it is easy to get that way when life presents one heartbreak after another. Not to mention, the habit to stuff feelings or finger point only increases the temptation to harden. Heartbreak hurts but hard-heartedness causes us to be even more miserable even longer. It separates and isolates community. The only relationships that survive are unhealthy ones where lots of pain and resentment stay. 

It takes tenderness, humility and vulnerability to ask God and others for help. Only by facing the uncomfortable can we go from hard to tender - but God will walk the willing down that path. 

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8

There are reasons for staying tender, but the most important one is this- It is obedient and honorable to the Lord. A tender heart pleases Him and I have seen His fierce protection firsthand over His tender hearted children. We don't have to wall up to look out for ourselves when the King of the world is so protective over us. When we are where He wants us, doing what He asks of us, we are in the safest place. 

See, the enemy loves for us to think God doesn't care so that we will stop caring too. That should tell us that caring and loving are threats to him. The enemy loves for us to take the bait and harden because it renders us useless as warriors and takes us off the spiritual battlefield. We have a choice in the matter to be courageous and stay tender or to let our fears drown us into submission. 

Staying tender-hearted is a battle for us because there are so many opportunities to harden. It is a lifelong struggle and probably the biggest struggle we have in our walk with Christ. But we have to keep on the course to developing a heart like His if we are going to walk the walk meant for us. 

The Harvest

I will bring destruction on all the nations where I have banished you, but I will not bring destruction on you. I will discipline you with justice, but I will be no means leave you unpunished.  Jeremiah 46:28

I have noticed in many Christian circles, Satan gets the blame for all the suffering. But that isn't scriptural. Okay, maybe it was taken from a scripture or two, but it doesn't match up with the context of the Bible. Just because we don't want to make God out to be a meanie doesn't mean we have to go to the opposite extreme and make Him out to be a pushover. God does bring discipline as well as punishment because, as much as He loves us He isn't a codependent weakling who surrenders His throne. 

I want to preface this by saying that I struggled with this message because I don't want to be one of those hell, fire and damnation people who judge others and manipulate people into coming to Jesus with fear. But I feel God wants me to speak what He has put on my heart about this topic and I pray it is received as graciously as it is meant. I know God to be patient, kind, gentle and gracious. But I also know Him to be firm. He has such fierce love that we cannot grasp it. He is merciful with each day to hold the gates of heaven open so that we may make it. 

There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is the process of teaching and instructing; it is a training that corrects and perfects. Discipline usually bears the fruit of self control. Punishment is retribution, a penalty that is on a more severe level. God won't force us to learn, but I do believe He instructs and disciplines us more than we realize. And we have a choice in each instance - to obey or rebel.   

God disciplines us for the same reasons we discipline our kids- to grow us up by preparing us for the future. He isn't mean and unreasonable. Those boundaries are in our best interest. And He loves us way too much to stand idly by as we trade in our calling as warriors for a spoiled brat, comfortable and superficial religion.  He loves us way to much to watch His warriors become lazy sloths and their hearts become as hard as rock. Discipline makes us stronger warriors with a higher level of self control and a more tender and courageous heart. 

Discipline is a hard place to be for the flesh. But we can find comfort in knowing that He does it because He loves us and that He is making beauty from ashes. It is a reminder that He hasn't given up on us and He is calling out what He made us for. He disciplines those who follow Him with a thick mercy. We are safe with Him even in this state. 

Notice that He doesn't handle those who do not love and follow Him with the same "white glove" discipline. He promises punishment instead. He loves them the same but, remember that He isn't codependent. He allows us to make our own choices but He warns us that those choices have consequences. 

The God Almighty deeply cares for all of us. He also is a secure God who has perfect boundaries. I can't imagine a god who would stand back and allow everything to happen without consequences. For without discipline and punishment, this world would be even worse than it is. No one takes seriously a leader who doesn't take a firm stance. Our God is respectable and He makes that clear all throughout scripture. 

A Heart To Hear

They have not become humble to this day, and they have not feared or walked by my law or my statutes that I set before you with your ancestors. Jeremiah 44:10

The land of the Israelites was overcome by the Chaldeans and the man who they put in charge to oversee those left behind was assassinated. So the remnant of Israel fled in fear of punishment. They asked Jeremiah to seek the Lord's direction and swore to obey it if he would seek and share it. After ten days, God gave Jeremiah direction for the people. And so Jeremiah spoke it- they were to stay where they were and were strictly told not to go to Egypt, where things seemed more comfortable at the time. 

But they didn't like this direction and instead of listening they replied, "You are speaking a lie! The Lord our God has not sent you to say, 'You must not go to Egypt to live a life there for a while!'"

Isn't it just like us to immediately dismiss the things we hear when they don't agree with our own desires? We don't stop and weigh the things said by those who love the Lord, even as fellow believers, because we subconsciously think that God agrees with us. We determine our own views to be truth without being willing to have those views challenged. 

"When Jeremiah had finished speaking to all the people all the words of the Lord their God-- all these words the Lord had sent him to give them-- then Azariah son of Hoshaiah, Johanan son of Kareah, and all the other arrogant men responded to Jeremiah..."

We put up walls of offense and yet our anger reveals the pride within us. You see, pride allows us to justify disobedience. I didn't call it that- God did. Scripture went on to say, " So I sent you all my servants the prophets time and time again, saying, 'Don't do this detestable things that I hate.' But they did not listen or pay attention; they did not turn from their evil or stop burning incense to other gods." Notice that He didn't chalk their responses into mere "learning their own way" It's disobedience no matter how we slice it when we aren't willing to hear God in whatever way He chooses to speak. 

Change is hard; changing our views is probably the hardest type of change to make. But the only ways we're to have our minds renewed is to humble ourselves to drop the shield we place over what we already think. It's dangerous to ignore the words spoken to us by fellow believers, knowing God speaks to us through each other. Everything spoken must be weighed in prayer and seeking of God's truth on the matter- not our own. 

To simply dismiss everything that doesn't immediately agree with us is dangerous. And we  aren't just impacting ourselves. 

"Why are you doing such harm to yourselves? You are cutting off man and woman, child and infant, from Judah, leaving yourselves without a remnant. You are provoking me to anger by the work of your hands." 

I don't believe we can learn to hear God personally until we humble ourselves to hear from others, weigh it before deciding it to be truth or lie. I had to be humbled enough to hear even the things I didn't want to hear, perhaps even from people I didn't want to hear them from. My own "opinion" in the grand scheme of things doesn't matter; only God's truth does. But sometimes our biggest obstacles are those things we believe and our decision to guard them too closely. 

Prone to Wander

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

Its easy to get distracted, isn't it? And to complicate matters, its already in our nature as humans to wander. Spiritually speaking, I think we all have ADD. Sometimes we wander around the corner but sometimes we wander miles and miles away--subtly and in a very short amount time. Its like we're kids in a busy store with so many opportunities and distractions to get away from our Father. I confess - I have seen this tendency within my own heart.  

I lived for so long with the desire for closeness with Him and feelings of passion for my God that I took it for granted that it would continue to be that easy to follow Jesus. But lately I've gotten distracted by this life and I haven't made time with Jesus a priority. I have wandered away very quickly. And in just a short amount of time I find myself further than I've been in a long time from God. I've grown complacent in my pursuit of Him. I regret that I wasn't more intentional about staying close to Him and I am indeed repentant. 

Thankfully, its me who wandered; He hasn't gone anywhere. As I began to beat myself up about this, I felt the Holy Spirit speak a few truths into me. These truths lifted me up and motivated me to keep moving forward. 

   1. Wandering is normal. We can spend so much time regretting that we miss our second chances. He isn't surprised by our wandering nature. He just wants us to refocus and follow Him again. It isn't wandering if we never return and we'll never return if we keep dwelling on the past. Repentance isn't dwelling on our sins so much that we never move forward; it is the chance to accept that we were wrong and to start over again. 

   2. We were never truly meant to rely on our feelings while we walk with Him. Our feelings have a place, yes. But sometimes we will feel like doing things and sometimes we won't and mature relationships don't operate strictly off of feelings.  Just like any other relationship, we have to do what it takes to keep those relationships alive regularly, despite our feelings. We have to make an effort, seek, listen and be honest. We have to drop our walls and be transparent continually. 

For the longest, I had a deep hunger for God and that was my motivation to keep seeking Him.  I was so smitten with Him for so long, much like a honeymooning phase. But relationships never stay in that phase if they're to grow. Our devotion and love must be tested and tried. Those tests grow us and our ability to love. They give us a tighter bond and makes us less likely to bail at the first sign of trouble. He is devoted to us enough to stay. He wants to make sure we are too.  

I think these lyrics from an old hymn, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing", say it best. 

"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for Thy courts above."

The Litmus Tests

...I have pronounced against them because I have spoken to them, but they have not obeyed, and I have called them but they would not answer. Jeremiah 35: 17

This verse, like all the others, has a modern day lesson for every one of us. The words get straight to the point - God spoke but someone didn't listen. 

God told Jeremiah to go get a certain family, the Rechabites, bring them to the temple and offer them wine. So he did. But they refused the wine because an ancestor told them to never drink wine, own vineyards or live in a house. They made their homes tents instead...all because an ancestor left that instruction for them. They took his commands seriously. 

Based on the culture, I think everyone in Jerusalem knew these people and that they abstained. I cant help but believe Jeremiah knew they would say "no" to the wine but made the choice to obey God, to let God have His way and make His point. And I bet God's words about them afterwards were not what Jeremiah was expecting. We cannot predict God or His ways because He is so vast! He is a beautiful and faithful mystery, worthy of following!

Obeying God is a litmus test for how much of our hearts we've truly given Him. Its's also a path to freedom. In the history of Israel, God often promises them that if they make Him their God, obeying Him, He will protect them from being besieged by other nations. I see this as a picture symbolizing the freedom He provides for each of us individually. We can either have our hearts besieged by the enemy or set free in Jesus. There is no middle ground. There is no such thing as standing on our own two feet. Therefore, it makes sense that He gives us over to the bondage we seek after when we refuse to listen. He isn't going to force His way on us because true love offers a choice. 

It's easy for us to take things we've learned in life and consider them truths, even when the these things contradict scripture. It's easy for us to justify disobeying God by claiming His instruction will bring us trouble, harm or makes no sense to us. It is easy to let our fears keep us from doing what He tells us to do. But any reason not to obey Him is a barrier that keeps us from giving Him our whole heart. His ways are always best for us. They stretch us and grow us, they dispel our fears and make us wiser. The only way we're ever going to know He is faithful is to step out and obey and let Him do with it what He will. 

He loves us. He doesn't want to hurt us. But hurting us isn't the same in His eyes as it is in ours. It's like the difference between what we allow for our kids based on their health, emotional and intellectual needs. They may think we are hurting them by taking them for shots or making them do things they don't like, but in reality we are loving them by doing what is best for them. 

He speaks to all of us who believe in Him, whether we believe that or not. The test is, are we willing to listen, weight and test whether it is Him or not. Are we willing to give Him our whole heart and give up everything else in it if necessary? Are we willing to be uncomfortable? Are we willing to have our believe systems challenged and changed - all because He said so? When we do, we reap more rewards than we can weigh. We become more and more of His, and realize how safe we really are in His care. 

To Know Is To Do

This means one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you. 

1 Thessalonians 4:6

The more I read scripture, the more convinced I become that this is a book about relationships-- with God and with fellow humans. Scripture draws a direct correlation between one's relationship with God and his or her relationship with others. This means that the way we interact with other people is telling of how well we know God. 

We can know about a lot about someone, but to know someone is a whole different thing. Truly knowing someone is the result of an ongoing, two-sided relationship. A relationship impacts every aspect of life. The interactions that take place in our relationships spill over into our interactions with others. They teach us, whether we realize it or not. And since our interactions with God tend to be foundational to all the others, we can't just study Him, we must also seek after His heart by interacting with Him through prayer and worship, among other things. If we want to learn the right way to think, interact and treat people, we need to spend more time with Jesus. 

It's all throughout scripture, to love God is to love others. To love anyone is to treat them with respect and honor. . It means that we no longer approach them with a "me first" attitude because godly love, agape or unconditional love, always considers what's best for the other person. 

But here's the kicker - loving others isn't as easy as we tend to make it sound. It goes way beyond a feeling or thought. It is something we do and continually practice as we battle all the reasons not to love at the same time. It has nothing to do with agreeing with others or liking their choices. The only real boundaries in loving others is in our hearts.

Even as we strive to do as Jesus does, we're going to make mistakes and bad decisions, but even in all of our messes God leaves open an invitation of redemption and healing. He leaves room for repentance and offers the grace of change when one is humble enough to apologize and seek reconciliation. He welcomes us to seek these things in our relationships with others just as we should with Him. He encourages us to keep getting back up and keep moving forward as He stands on the sidelines, cheering us closer and closer to the finish line. 

The Way We See Ourselves

I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high. 

Leviticus 26:13

I used to think that the concept of self-love was just new age messed-up theology, a mere excuse to resist humility and the concept of sin. Some of it is, but there is truth to having confidence in the value God places on us. It is important that we learn to see ourselves through His gracious eyes if we are going to walk through the valleys. This level of confidence is something I have always struggled with. I continue to struggle with it as God is teaching me to love who He made me in this season of life. 

He recently revealed to me that my lack of self acceptance was hurting me. It was keeping me from standing strong in the face of battles. While I thought I was confident enough, I see now that, as Jesus followers, we are always learning new ways to see ourselves and others.  Know that I write this to encourage you as well as myself. 

The Holy Spirit recently revealed my heart as He shined a spotlight on some very ugly feelings that self love brought out in me. And I realized that although I have heard the topic taken to extremes before, it was obvious that just thinking about loving myself in this way made me feel shame and fear...stuff Jesus doesn't do. He revealed that the result of believing Him is to adopt His way of thinking. Eventually faith changes our mind. Believing Him leads to thinking like Him when it comes to people, life, ourselves and everything else.

 

If we don't agree that we are wonderfully made and that what He makes is beautiful and valuable, we won't be able to agree with Him about others. If we can't look beyond our flawed humanity and see the beauty He put in us and the potential He gives us, we will always be suceptible to cowering before the enemy. We were made to be warriors. 

Warriors don't cower; They stand strong in the face of adversity. They know their calling and value and are not easily manipulated. When we don't believe Him about our own or anyone's value, we open a place for the enemy to work and divide. Satan will go so far as to turn some of what we like to call "humility" into self hate. He can turn real humility into pride as well. Be careful with this! There is a true difference between humility and self hate and I'm not sure most of us know what that is. 

 

Know this: any idea of yourself that makes you fearful and cower from spiritual war is not humility. Any idea you have that keeps you from holding your head high is one that endangers you from finishing the race. God wants us to be made whole. He wants us to finish a good race. Self-hate is a very subtle but very common way Satan works to keep us from doing that. 

God wants us to hold our heads high because, no matter how weak we are, how flawed we are, how much we've sinnned and continue to make mistakes, He has made provision for mercy and a bounty of grace. Know your weaknesses. Admit them. Take them seriously, but don't let them cripple you.