Daniel 10:19
I had huge trust issues and they impacted my relationship with Jesus greatly. It's hard to practice faith without trust, a necessity of any healthy relationship. And so my whole life has been a struggle to find safety with anyone, anywhere. I imagine it broke Jesus' heart to see me feel so alone and afraid all the time because He grabbed ahold of me in the gentlest way and begun working through my mess diligently. His consistent message to me was, " Don't be afraid; I've got you. I will do right by you. I promise."
He dealt patiently with me as He continuously affirmed me as His own and assured me of His love. He was not content seeing me in such bondage and He began to change my own heart to desire the same. He provided me many opportunities to practice trusting Him and He held me tight through every one. Each time, I came out more in love with Jesus than before and more sure of His love for me. And if I had to go through it all again, I wholeheartedly believe it is worth it.
God is not content seeing us stuck to mindsets and lies that hold us back from experiencing Him fully. Therefore, if we're going to truly follow Him, we're going to feel uncomfortable quite often. I truly believe it's in that discomfort that our chains are exposed and we have to make a choice- to continue following Him on the journey to freedom or to stay chained up right where we are. But I promise, there is no safer place, no greater adventure than to go through hard stuff with Him holding your hand.
How can you trust God when he has allowed me to be abused. how do you get rid of the bitternest? Oh to be able to be free of the chains that have held me captive for many years.
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DeleteShannon, I understand where you're coming from (and I do not say that superficially). Remember that God is faithful to His children. He will heal you. He will avenge you. It's easier said than done, but continue to pour out your soul to Him in being honest with your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Seek guidance on where to get counseling/therapy and resources for help that is affordable and effective for you.
DeleteHow did you get to where you are? Where do I start?
DeleteShannon, I really do get where you have come from and have been where you are. I am so sorry this has happened to you and I want you to know that God does not condone this at all. He doesn't approve and he does want to deliver you. Please don't stay in a situation where you aren't safe. I experienced something very similar (without going into details) and it happened for a longer time than it should have. The problem was I would justify it and would enable that person to keep mistreating me. I knew nothing about healthy boundaries. It wasn't until I had been seeking God for a long time that I realize that He has been allowing us both to make our voices, waiting on me to come to Him and relinquish my own enabling ways. You see, I have been codependent for years and the person doing it has been ill himself because he inherited a family issue and brought it into our home. One of us has to get enough and want out of this bondage. That was me. God called me to react in a very radical way that the other person never would have expected. It was hard but God took that and began to set us both free and walk us both down the path of healing, separately. I am not saying that any of that is you but I wanted you to know a little of my own story. It's not something I publicize but maybe someday when God calls me to.
ReplyDeleteI do believe God wants to deliver you and I will be specifically praying for you. You did nothing to deserve this and God adores you, Shannon. Please know that His heart beaks over this. Please remove yourself if necessary and go to a safe place. And if you need to talk, feel free to email me. I will give you other methods of contact. know that you have me in your corner praying for you.
this isn't abuse that you are referring to. I have stuffed this, tried to run away from it, I've tried all sorts of things but nothing changes the years of hurt and pain. I just don't see how I can trust God. How can I trust God - he allowed these things to happen to me.
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