Prone to Wander

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

Its easy to get distracted, isn't it? And to complicate matters, its already in our nature as humans to wander. Spiritually speaking, I think we all have ADD. Sometimes we wander around the corner but sometimes we wander miles and miles away--subtly and in a very short amount time. Its like we're kids in a busy store with so many opportunities and distractions to get away from our Father. I confess - I have seen this tendency within my own heart.  

I lived for so long with the desire for closeness with Him and feelings of passion for my God that I took it for granted that it would continue to be that easy to follow Jesus. But lately I've gotten distracted by this life and I haven't made time with Jesus a priority. I have wandered away very quickly. And in just a short amount of time I find myself further than I've been in a long time from God. I've grown complacent in my pursuit of Him. I regret that I wasn't more intentional about staying close to Him and I am indeed repentant. 

Thankfully, its me who wandered; He hasn't gone anywhere. As I began to beat myself up about this, I felt the Holy Spirit speak a few truths into me. These truths lifted me up and motivated me to keep moving forward. 

   1. Wandering is normal. We can spend so much time regretting that we miss our second chances. He isn't surprised by our wandering nature. He just wants us to refocus and follow Him again. It isn't wandering if we never return and we'll never return if we keep dwelling on the past. Repentance isn't dwelling on our sins so much that we never move forward; it is the chance to accept that we were wrong and to start over again. 

   2. We were never truly meant to rely on our feelings while we walk with Him. Our feelings have a place, yes. But sometimes we will feel like doing things and sometimes we won't and mature relationships don't operate strictly off of feelings.  Just like any other relationship, we have to do what it takes to keep those relationships alive regularly, despite our feelings. We have to make an effort, seek, listen and be honest. We have to drop our walls and be transparent continually. 

For the longest, I had a deep hunger for God and that was my motivation to keep seeking Him.  I was so smitten with Him for so long, much like a honeymooning phase. But relationships never stay in that phase if they're to grow. Our devotion and love must be tested and tried. Those tests grow us and our ability to love. They give us a tighter bond and makes us less likely to bail at the first sign of trouble. He is devoted to us enough to stay. He wants to make sure we are too.  

I think these lyrics from an old hymn, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing", say it best. 

"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for Thy courts above."