Through the Eye of a Needle

So many of our sufferings seem so unbearable. We have no idea how we're supposed to get through them, much less come through the other side with a heart that honors God. That's the true challenge of it all, isn't it? Not to survive, but to maintain a pure heart, free of lust, bitterness, selfishness and strife. But how many of us, being honest, can truly say we have escaped all life's struggles without falling more than once?

I've been through a recent season of suffering myself, and I'm honestly not sure if it's even over yet. I entered it strong and ready, like an able warrior. But after several rounds, I began to grow weary and sway from side-to-side. I began to grow tired first physically, but later emotionally. Somehow in the midst of months worth of hurricane force winds and rain that left me soaked, I simply took on the "beat down" stance without noticing. I feel like I hut the ground as hard as Goliath already but the bizarre thing is that I'm still standing. It's all by God's grace. Despite this nasty storm, He has been so good to me.

There is no shame in hurting. We have to stop pretending we don't hurt so much to one another. I catch myself doing it. We can't be a community if we aren't able to be honest. God can do some amazing things with our pain, together. He loves for us to share our stories, good and bad. Pain is where kindness, compassion and love are built in the hearts of the hardest. But somebody's got to be brave enough to be vulnerable.

No pain is ever a waste on God either. even though it feels like we're that camel going through the eye of a needle, some real, live miracles are happening in US as we live. For instance, through all of my pain God did some amazing things. He turned some darts meant to kill into weight-lifting sessions for my spiritual growth. He:

Strengthened my heart

Grew my ability to see spiritually

Sensitized my spiritual feelers

Taught me tactics with the enemy

Helped me know when to let go 

Shed me of some heavy chains

Taken me back to past hurts

And healed them

Brought forgiveness 

Loved me when I continued 

to make bigger messes

Reminded me that I am His 

No matter how much I mess up.

Taught me not to give the enemy's noise

More attention than it deserves.

I won't lie, I struggled to feel loved during this season and I have struggled with bitterness as of late. But my God hasn't let go of me once. And He won't let go of you! 

Our sufferings hurt. They are hard to endure. But we were not meant to go it alone.