One Interaction At A Time

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

My husband and I took the kids on a spontaneous and last minute trip to the beach this weekend. I'm not one to do big, spontaneous things; I like a plan. But my husband is wired different and it is important for me to recognize that at times, especially when this trip was his idea. As you can imagine, we all had plenty of opportunities to overreact. Over the course of three days my husband and I apologized to each other as well as to the kids more times than I could keep up with. It has taken us so long to learn that it's more important to treat one another well than to have our own ways. And we're still learning!

The more God heals and changes me, the more I realize how rare emotional and relational health is. Our society puts emphasis on money, success and morality but is it possible that we're missing the real lesson Jesus taught? 

Jesus was hard on Pharisees who thought they could earn their way to heaven by good behavior. So why then do we Christians adopt this very mindset? And how is it that we can stand under the pressure we put on ourselves and one another to "get it right"? 

From pointing fingers to carrying unforgiveness, anger and entitlement mindsets, we're making life harder for everyone. And yet we still insist that legislating morality is going to fix our problems because, maybe, just maybe we're a little bit too shallow to see deeper than skin. Not only do we make ourselves miserable with our self righteousness, but we've missed the importance Jesus put on healthy relationships. When we stop thinking its our job to change people, we can love them better. It is then that relationships flourish. Relationships are what Jesus emphasized. 

Laws don't change a person's heart. They might change actions but God looks at the heart. Actions mean nothing if the heart goes unchanged. Therefore, if we examine ourselves a little bit more closely, we might see that things have gotten this way partly because we've turned Christianity into behavioral modification. We've taken Jesus out of the equation except when we need something. We have failed to realize that what's inside of someone will eventually make its way out. 

Please don't read this as condemnation, but edification. I see these things because I once was guilty of them. And I continue to battle the mindsets behind our American Christian culture just like everyone else. 

How did Jesus bring change? Relationships. He interacted graciously and truthfully with everyone He met. He didn't manipulate. He didn't threaten. He didn't tie people to their past actions either but presented forgiveness and repentance where there was a hunger. He was a safe person for everyone. But He sure did scold those who thought they had it all together or who shamed others. 

Its time for the church to emphasize the importance of healthy interactions and relationships. God can handle hearts much better than we can. Relationships need to be a foundational teaching, more important than anything we learn in school. If we are going to impact the world, we have to do it the way Christ called us to, one interaction at a time.