To Understand

When we express our feelings to someone, we should be able to expect a safe place. We should, theoretically, receive understanding. Many people mix this up for agreement in mindset but that’s not necessarily it at all. To understand is to slow down listen, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and empathize. Allow yourself to feel what they must feel and have a conversation about what that looks like to them. You don’t have to agree, you simply need to show that they are important enough to empathize with.

However, far too often we tell people they are wrong for their feelings, try to convince them to think our way or end the conversation out of offense. We forget that not everyone thinks like us; they don’t have the same life experiences to build upon. We are not the litmus test for wrong or right and scripture warns us about how the spirit of offense will cause us relational troubles.

It’s crucial that we be open to feedback and other mindsets and perspectives. And if we want intimacy with others, we must be willing to hear them out. After all, isn’t that what we would want? Wouldn’t you want to be understood and heard rather than quickly dismissed as unimportant? Do you have people who do this to you now, or do you do this to others?

Nothing brings people together like the humility of understanding. Take a step down off of the need to be right and seek first to understand. Make sure your actions reveal your intentions and then offer your perspective and feelings in love. You’ll be much better received.